It's always easy to say that God is working everything together for good when I have no trouble imagining how it's going to happen. Maybe I didn't get hired for a job because God has a better plan. Maybe I got caught in traffic so I would end up having a sweet conversation with an old friend. Maybe I failed a couple of classes so that I would be able to have a life changing experience in Oklahoma. Alright, everything seems to be working out. But what happens when believing this verse actually requires faith? What happens when there is simply no answer to the questions?
I don't think I've ever prayed harder than I did the night after Bre's accident. She was still unresponsive, on life support, but I knew that God was bigger than any physical impossibility. I prayed believing with all my heart that God would hear me and Breona would wake up. Matthew 7:7. John 15:7. Mark 11:24. I even tried to pray like Moses prayed, reasoning with God to change his mind. When I heard the news that Bre was in heaven, it's hard to remember how I felt. I knew if I tried to figure out why, it would just hurt worse, so I didn't think about anything. I read Psalms and cried and tried to dwell on the fact that Bre was with Jesus.
I flew out to Oklahoma for the memorial service. There was a slideshow full of Bre's radiant smile, and friends and family to share about the amazing life she lived. At the end of the service, a time of worship was announced. I couldn't believe anyone could ask me to worship at a time like this. I reluctantly stood and we began to sing How He Loves, and Your Love Never Fails. As I tried to sing the bridge, "you make all things work together for my good," I watched Bre's parents' faith emanate from their joy-filled faces as they worshipped. It turned out to be the most beautiful, freeing worship service I've ever experienced.
In the time since Bre's death, I rarely ask the question "why." No amount of logic will get me to a satisfactory answer, and that's ok with me. Do I know why Bre died? No. But I do know that her death doesn't change the things that she lived for. A God whose love never fails. A faith that surpasses the obstacles of finite thinking. A love that endures forever. God is good, he is faithful, and nothing will ever change that.
Praises to God for Breona Fay's life and how it reflected Him, even though I don't know her, I can feel that from Breona, my sister in heaven. I think this post glorifies God in many ways.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when we ask for things, we don't know how and we don't know what we want, we don't know what God will do. But we believe He CAN. Sometimes I, too remind myself to focus on what I do know about God and not what I don't and get caught up on those parts.. I heard a question once... "would you want to know and understand everything about our God?" He is so huge and powerful, that if He is THAT big, why would we even want to try to understand and know EVERY thing. Even though I think there's nothing better than getting to know our God better and His character. Loved this post. Thanks for openly sharing your thoughts on life. I'm def. okay with not knowing everything.
This is what the Lord says,
He who made the earth,
The Lord who formed it and established it --
The Lord is His name:
Call to me
And I will answer you
And tell you
Great and unsearchable things
You do not know.
--- Jeremiah 33: 2-3