Breona Fay

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

It's always easy to say that God is working everything together for good when I have no trouble imagining how it's going to happen. Maybe I didn't get hired for a job because God has a better plan. Maybe I got caught in traffic so I would end up having a sweet conversation with an old friend. Maybe I failed a couple of classes so that I would be able to have a life changing experience in Oklahoma. Alright, everything seems to be working out. But what happens when believing this verse actually requires faith? What happens when there is simply no answer to the questions?

I don't think I've ever prayed harder than I did the night after Bre's accident. She was still unresponsive, on life support, but I knew that God was bigger than any physical impossibility. I prayed believing with all my heart that God would hear me and Breona would wake up. Matthew 7:7. John 15:7. Mark 11:24. I even tried to pray like Moses prayed, reasoning with God to change his mind. When I heard the news that Bre was in heaven, it's hard to remember how I felt. I knew if I tried to figure out why, it would just hurt worse, so I didn't think about anything. I read Psalms and cried and tried to dwell on the fact that Bre was with Jesus.

I flew out to Oklahoma for the memorial service. There was a slideshow full of Bre's radiant smile, and friends and family to share about the amazing life she lived. At the end of the service, a time of worship was announced. I couldn't believe anyone could ask me to worship at a time like this. I reluctantly stood and we began to sing How He Loves, and Your Love Never Fails. As I tried to sing the bridge, "you make all things work together for my good," I watched Bre's parents' faith emanate from their joy-filled faces as they worshipped. It turned out to be the most beautiful, freeing worship service I've ever experienced.

In the time since Bre's death, I rarely ask the question "why." No amount of logic will get me to a satisfactory answer, and that's ok with me. Do I know why Bre died? No. But I do know that her death doesn't change the things that she lived for. A God whose love never fails. A faith that surpasses the obstacles of finite thinking. A love that endures forever. God is good, he is faithful, and nothing will ever change that.

Back to School, and Starbucks

Last year in IMT, I was required to write monthly newsletters to chronicle my adventures in Tulsa. I would describe my experiences, discuss things I was learning, share prayer requests, and occasionally I would ask for money. Ideally, this blog will serve a similar purpose. Although I probably won't ask for money. But enough with the introduction.

Since I've been home from camp, life has gotten crazy, and fast. I had 2 weeks between Deerfoot and school, and I didn't want to waste them. I flew to Florida, bought my granny's Buick, and drove it home. I only ran out of gas once. Florence, SC wasn't on my list of planned pit stops. But visiting friends at UNC and UVA was well worth the trip. I also applied for a job at Starbucks, where I am now employed as a Barista. No, I will not give you free coffee. The hardest part about those 2 weeks was knowing that my IMT family was going full steam in their second year of the program, and knowing that I wasn't with them. I spent way too much time sitting at home playing the hypothetical game.

But once classes began, I had no time to play games of any sort. 8am classes have taken their toll on my sleep schedule. I'm studying Mechanical Engineering, which I attempted once, and failed. This time will be different. If not, I'm out of excuses. Fortunately, I'm convinced that if I keep my priorities straight, and my focus on God, then it will be a lot harder to fail. At anything. Speaking of priorities, it has been great to be back at CFC. Crunk fo' Christ is a guys' small group/Bible study that was conceived my freshman year with a group of buddies. Now, a lot of the guys are seniors, eager to make a difference on the campus of UMD before taking the dreaded step into the real world. When I think about the guys in CFC, I can't help but get excited. They are some of the most gifted, passionate guys you will ever meet. Sure, we all have our fair share of struggles, but I can't wait to see how God uses us to change the world.


Other notable uses of my time have been intramural soccer, doing homework, taking naps in my car in various parking lots on campus, and trying to win as many fantasy football leagues as possible. Balancing everything has been a tough act, but it's a challenge that I'm eager to overcome. I've wasted enough time at UMD, so this time I'm determined to make the most of it.

Summer Days

If you want to understand Deerfoot Lodge, you really need to experience it for yourself.  Words fall painfully short in describing such an indescribable place, but I'll do my best. If you're ever looking for a good reason to believe in a God who created the universe, check out the Adirondack mountains.  Every summer, 70 college-age guys sacrifice the luxuries of facebook, running water, and girls to be a part of something much bigger than a great summer camp. Deerfoot's mission is to "build Godly young men in a Christ-centered community through wilderness camping." I've been a part of many communities, but none quite like the Lodge. In the summer of 2005, after 6 years of being a camper myself, I applied for the 8 week Guide Program. During these life-changing weeks, I made lifelong friends, and grew more than I could have imagined. In the summers since then, I've done more of the same.

This summer, I had the privilege of serving in the role of Point Section Chief. I worked with the other senior staff to facilitate the running of camp, the performance of the counselors, and most importantly, our effectiveness in carrying out the mission statement.  I lived in a large, one room log cabin with my assistant(s).  I was directly responsible for the counselors and campers in the 12-13 year old age bracket: the Pioneers.  Of the approximately 200 Pioneers at Deerfoot over the course of the summer, I loved some, had to work really hard to love others, and tried to make sure they all experienced God in a new way.

I grew a lot this summer.  Being a camp counselor had become comfortable for me after 3 summers, but I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into with this new role.  When over 30 campers and staff were infected with swine flu during the first 2 weeks of camp, I began to realize what I had gotten myself into.  Along with the other senior staff, we prayed and fought our way through, and by the end of camp, we had all become pros at our positions.  There were times when I felt so inadequate to be a leader of such solid guys, but it was during those times that I learned the importance of finding my identity in Christ, and leading in a way that points others to Him.  Looking back, there are countless ways I could have done a better job, but I know that I was there for a purpose, and I'm confident that my purpose was accomplished.

Previously on "Things that Happen in Oklahoma"

There are several very good reasons why you should visit the following blog.

1. You are curious what I was doing when I seemingly dropped off the face of the earth for 9 months in 08-09.
2. You think I am a fascinating enough person that perhaps reading more about my life will be worth your time.
3. You are extremely bored, and the title of this post sounds vaguely like the intro to a TV show, and you like TV shows, and run on sentences.

Without further ado:
Things that Happen in Oklahoma


Disclaimer: Do not click the link if only reason #2 applies to you. There is a high likelihood you will be disappointed.